Monday, July 18, 2011

Saving Me From Myself

This weekend we had the pleasure of having our families over for Colton's first birthday. I always love getting everyone together, particularly all the children. My sister and myself never had much opportunity to party with our cousins, so I think I speak for us both when I say we really revel in the opportunity for then to get to know each other. This Saturday however, we were missing my sister and her husband, thanks to a poker run for a great cause, but we did get Grace & Brody thanks to my mom. (I asked my niece what it was like having a motorcycle momma & daddy, and I think she was confused.)

Colt's birthday was a big deal for our small family. Having a 10 week premature baby, that missed nearly his entire third trimester of development, is a scary thing. Even scarier, my husband was the one who was told point-blank, that Colt may not survive.

The story of that trying day is one I have been contemplating writing, as it was very much a turning point in our lives.

Back on topic. Everything turned out great, the boy its strong & tough like the grandma he was named after. I will never forget my final check up after Colt's birth when my doctor asked if we had given any thought to a third child. I replied "We had, but aren't sure now!" And she very kindly explained that the chances of a repeat if the entire ordeal, the eclampsia, the emergency delivery, & the premature baby, were very steep, and we may want to "make peace with two".

Sometimes, I find that thought painful. The love I have for my existing children is boundless, and despite the complications, I'd never take any of it back. But God works in funny ways.

We bring our families together to play, and 3 children between the ages of 4-6 descend upon our home, with all their excitement & idiosyncrasies. I love the time together, watching them play & enjoying each other's company. When it is time for half the brood to return home and go back to their own lives, our house quiets and I think, "Woah. Two is perfectly fine." 

Sometimes, things happen for a reason, if for no other reason than to offer perspective. In this case, it is nice to have a reminder that we all have limits. (Despite the amount of love in our hearts we are willing to share.) And that's ok. 

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